Star Wars: The Last Jedi

The Last Jedi is the spark that lit the fire that fueled a whole lot of internet nerd rage.  That nerd rage is why I was a little reluctant to write down my thoughts on the movie and put them someplace the entire internet can see them (Not that the entire internet reads this, but you know what I mean).

The Last Jedi is a controversial movie.  Audiences either love it or hate it, seemingly without much in the way of middle ground.  The great thing about controversy in film is it allows you to form your own opinions.  If a movie is crazy popular, you are expected to see it and like it by default.  Love it or hate it movies generate more discussion because they bring out passionate reactions.  Viewers will talk more about them because they either want to understand the opposite point of view or covert the other party to their way of seeing things.

Most people who hate The Last Jedi seem to focus primarily on the way Luke Skywalker 'Acts out of Character'.  This is fueled in part by actor Mark Hamill expressing his concern over the way Luke was written.  Fans are rallying to defend Luke's honor, and I kind of get that.  But personally I thought his character evolution made a lot of sense?  So, I don't see what the problem is?

I'll get into my thoughts on Luke's character arc a little more later on, but first here's a list of things I did and didn't like.  Spoilers to follow.

Liked - - - Paige Tico and her relationship with her sister, Rose.  The movie opens with a big space battle and a heroic sacrifice from a character we'd never met before.  Paige is somebody we've known for only 5 minutes, but her death left a bigger impact for me than all of the deaths in 'Rogue One: A Star Wars Story' combined.  I enjoyed Rogue One, by the way.  Not hating on Rogue One.  Just stating the facts as I see them.  This death gives us clear cut motivation for newcomer Rose Tico, and was brilliant use of shorthand to make us like and care about her.  Unless of course, you aren't some one who liked and cared about her.  Seriously, why do so many people hate Rose Tico?


Liked - - - Poe Dameron's story arc.  After I saw 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' I was like - 'Yeah! That was so cool! I loved all the new characters, like Rey, and Finn and...um, was there a third one? I'm not remembering anyone else...'  Poe left zero impact on me in the previous installment.  He's really given a chance to shine this time around.  We have here a subplot about recklessness vs. responsibility, consequences for our actions, and how bucking authority so we can go do our own thing isn't always the best plan of action.  I felt like this was a deconstruction of Luke and Han's carefree daring-do in the original trilogy - you know, the way they just sneak around the Deathstar and always come up with a plan of action on the spot, sending the message that 'Yeah, you can totally live your life flying by the seat of your pants. It'll all turn out okay in the end!'  But it real life you can't always fly by the seat of your pants.  And sometimes our actions have consequences.


Liked - - - C3PO.  He didn't have a huge role, but he had more than a cameo appearance this time around.  This is the first Star Wars movie in a long time where C3PO shows up on screen and I wasn't going 'Why is he even here?'  In Rogue One - and again, I like Rogue One, C3PO have the worlds most pointless, most in your face cameo that was basically 'Hey, remember these guys? Well, they're still here!' and that really really irked me.  Either give the droids something to do, or cut them out entirely.

Liked - - - Rey and Kylo Ren's force head games.  Rey and Kylo Ren spend large portions of this movie communicating long distance through the force.  These were actually my favorite parts of the story.  It felt like a psychological thriller, and how cool is a Star Wars psychological thriller?  Rhetorical question, because it's all kinds of cool.

Didn't like - - - That casino planet.  This didn't bother me as much as some people, but visually the casino on Canto Bite really looked like something out of the prequel trilogy.  It felt out of place with the aesthetics of the rest of the film.  Now you could say that this is Disney/Lucasfilm trying to put a band-aid on the prequels - throwing in the occasional visual callback to the trilogy as if to say, 'Yeah, that kind of visual COULD work in Star Wars. See? It's not such a glaring anachronism!'  As the giant tentacle slug monsters Han Solo was smuggling in 'The Force Awakens' also look like something from the prequel trilogy this seems like a plausible theory.

Didn't like - - - So...BB8 has superpowers now...?  There's a scene on Canto Bite where Finn and Rose are escaping from a prison cell, and they round a corner, and BB8 is there with a bunch of guards who have been knocked out and tied up.  A wide eyed Finn asks, 'Did you do that?'  Funny moment right?  Right.  The problem comes later where they take it a little too far - a little over the top.  If you've seen the movie you know the part I'm talking about.  It's the part where Finn and Rose are captured by the First Order when somebody driving an AT-ST walker comes to their rescue...and it is revealed that that somebody...is BB8.  BB8 stole an AT-ST.  That's really over the top and really really dumb.

As you can probably see, things I liked vastly the things I didn't so far.  And the things I don't like are pretty minor.  They might take me out of the story for a few moments, but they don't ruin my overall enjoyment of the movie.  So, without further adieu, here's my read on the Luke Skywalker story arc.

 Luke has seen a lot since 'Return of the Jedi'.  In the original trilogy he was an Idealist, and now he is rather Cynical.  Can a series of traumatic events completely change one's world view?  Can idealism be crushed?  Realistically speaking, I think it can.  'Return of the Jedi' ends with Darth Vader returning to the Light Side and the Rebel Alliance overcoming the forces of the Empire.  But history has a nasty tendency to  repeat itself.  Between trilogies Luke attempts to restore the Jedi Order.  His apprentice Ben Solo turns to the Dark Side and tears down everything Luke had built.  The First Order rises, and from Luke's point of view everything he's fought for has been in vain.  This, quite realistically in my opinion, leads to apathy and depression.
 
Luke does what Obi Wan and Yoda did before him - decide that the problems of the galaxy are too big for him to face on his own.  He goes into a self imposed exile.  When Rey finds him he's had a lot of time alone to think about just how fragile the Jedi Order is.  How fragile it has always been.  Interestingly the writers of this trilogy seem to have swapped Luke and Han Solo's views on the Force.  In 'The Force Awakens' Han Solo has a little bit of Luke's Idealism: 'I thought it was a bunch of Mumbo Jumbo. A magical power holding together good and evil - the Dark Side and the Light? Crazy thing is...It's true. The force, the Jedi...all of it. It's all true.'  Han Solo has a new found faith in the Force, whereas Luke sees the Jedi order as something that does more harm than good that is always doomed to failure.

People make a big deal out of the flashback scenes where it's revealed why Ben Solo turned to the Dark Side - Luke foresaw that he would turn and tried to kill him first.  Fans everywhere where upset that Luke would try to murder his apprentice.  Except that's not what happens.  If you were actually paying attention to the story you'll notice that Luke never tried to kill Ben.  They explicitly spell out that in a moment of weakness the thought crossed Luke's mind, but he wouldn't have gone through with it.  LUKE DIDN'T TRY TO KILL BEN SOLO PEOPLE.  But Kylo Ren thought he did.  And that's why he turned.  It's like a Greek Tragedy where knowing the outcome of the future and trying to change that outcome causes the outcome.

And the other thing people complain about is the ending.  They think Luke didn't get the wow moment he deserved. To which I have to ask - did we watch the same movie?  Luke coming back when the rebellion needs him most to face off with Kylo Ren and the armed forces of the First Order - ALONE - so they could make their getaway.  And to me at least it really doesn't matter that Luke was just a force projection.  Let me spell out why.

Reason 1: This new Force Projection was really well set up.  In those scenes with Rey and Kylo Ren we see them touch hands through the force.  At one point Kylo Ren is sopping wet because it's raining were Rey is.  And when she fires a blaster at him, he's knocked across the room.  So whats going on in the environment where the Force User is projecting to has some effect on them.  Meaning that all of those shots that were fired at Luke and that part where Kylo Ren stuck his Lightsabre through his chest?  Yeah, Luke potentially felt every blow.  Also the fact that Luke is a projection is foreshadowed really well.  He doesn't leave footprints in the salt (Kylo Ren does) and he's using a Lightsabre that we saw get broken just a few scenes earlier.

Reason 2: The final battle really reminds me of the Spaghetti western film 'A Fistful of Dollars'.  In this movie Clint Eastwood returns to town specifically to rescue a hostage.  He overcomes the villains by using his wits.  Earlier in the movie the main villain, Ramón, whilst showing off his skills with a gun boasts about always shooting a man through the heart when he kills.  So Clint Eastwood's character stuffs a bulletproof metal plate up his poncho and taunts Ramón to aim for the heart.  Our hero appears to be bulletproof and the unnerves the villains, throwing them off balance, long enough for Eastwood's character to overcome the odds of their superior numbers.  

Luke basically does the same thing, outwitting the First Order, appearing unstoppable, and stalling them long enough for the Rebel forces to escape.  What I see as a 'Fistful of Dollars' homage makes me especially happy because Star Wars has always been heavily influenced by westerns and Samurai films - 'Fistful of Dollars' is a western remake of an Akira Kurosawa Samurai film 'Yojimbo'.

Reason 3: How would fans expect and actual battle between Luke, Jedi Master, and Kylo Ren, Darksider who was Snoke's apprentice until about ten minutes ago?  You expect Luke to defeat Kylo Ren, right?  I know I would.  But Luke couldn't have defeated Kylo Ren.  Because they need a villain for the third movie in the trilogy.  And I don't think Kylo Ren is strong enough to defeated Luke.  So the only possible outcome of that hypothetical fight is a stalemate.  Kind of like that fight between Yoda and Palpatine in 'Revenge of the Sith'.  Fights that end in stalemates tend to be disappointing storytelling decisions.  Having Luke not be physically there for the fight was a brilliant way to sidestep this problem in my opinion.

'So, why did Luke just die?' is something a lot of fans are asking.  Some think he died from exertion from the force projection.  A lot of fans resent this, saying that that's like dying because of a supernatural Skype call.  I'd disagree with that statement because of the way they showed us how force projection works.  If Luke felt the effect of every one of those hits - like Kylo Ren felt the effects of Rey's blaster - I think that would totally be enough to kill somebody.

Others think he died because he was a peace.  He did what he had to do.  He saw Leia one last time, he made up for just walking away from the rebellion by returning when they needed him most, and he made (albeit one sided) piece with Kylo Ren.  He had said at the beginning of the movie that he came to the Jedi temple to die.  He just had some things he had to do first.  When those were done he gave himself up to the force, just like Yoda did in 'Return of the Jedi' because there was nothing more he could teach Luke.  It's an ending that's open for interpretation.  Personally I thought Luke fading away while looking off at the sunset as that theme from the original trilogy played (you know the one) was a beautiful moment.

I liked 'The Last Jedi.'  Personally I liked it better than 'The Force Awakens'.  If you're wondering about my current ranking of Star Wars movies it looks something like this:

1: Return of the Jedi
2: A New Hope
3: The Last Jedi
4: The Force Awakens
5: Empire Strikes Back
6: Rogue One
7: Attack of the Clones
8: Revenge of the Sith
9: The Phantom Menance

-Geekboy.

Best Vs. Favorite: Geekboy Ranks the Star Wars Movies

So 'Star Wars: The Last Jedi' just recently came out, and audience reaction has been pretty divided.  There are those who are saying that it's the best Star Wars movie since 'Empire Strikes Back,' and those who are creating online petitions for Disney/Lucasfilm to call a mulligan and REMAKE IT, BUT DO IT RIGHT THIS TIME.  If you ask me, it's pretty ridiculous for an audience to think they have any right to demand that storytellers tell a story the way that they think it should go.  I've yet to see it, so I can't way in on the 'best ever or the worst ever' thing.  I've just been trying my best to avoid spoilers, which is hard because I apparently spend 25 hours a day on the internet, and that's the place spoilers call home.

What I can do is ask a simple question: Who ever said that 'Empire' was the best one in the first place?  And yeah, before you say "Like, Everybody? Duh?" it's a rhetorical question.  What I mean to say it that 'Best' is a OBJECTIVE term.  It's a universal truth, rather than a preference.  'Favorite' is always a better way to describe a movie, because 'Favorite' is a SUBJECTIVE term.  Odds are good that that somebody out there really really hates your favorite movie.  Therefore your favorite movie cannot be the 'best movie ever' because best is a universal truth.

Think of it like you would your favorite ice cream flavor.  Is Mint Chip the best ice cream?  As far a universal truths go, that one is pretty debatable.  Is it one of my favorites?  Yup.  And I try to apply the same logic to movies.

And before you try to tell me that 'Empire' is the best from a critical standpoint, or from as storytelling standpoint, let's take a quick look at one of the first scenes in the movie.  It's the first scene where two of the characters we'll be spending way to much time with (AKA Han and Leia) interact.  And I find this scene really painful to watch EVERY SINGLE TIME.  So Han comes back from a scout trip and informs his superior officer that he's leaving the resistance to go pay off his debt to Jabba the Hutt.  Hey, good use of foreshadowing right?  Right.

 
 The problem is that Leia clearly shown within earshot and is presumably eavesdropping.  So anyway, Han goes over to say goodbye to Leia, and she gives him the royal brush-off.  So he leaves in a huff, and the next thing you know she's chasing after him, acting shocked that he's leaving even though she clearly overheard that he was leaving, heard him give his reasons for leaving, and he basically said 'Bye Leia, I'm leaving now. Here's lookin' at you, kid.'  The way this scene is written and edited together, in my opinion, makes Leia look really really dumb.  And we know Leia's not dumb.  So, tell me again how 'Empire' is the best from a storytelling standpoint?

A lot of Star Wars fans like 'Empire' best, and that's their prerogative.  There is this mindset though, that if you don't think 'Empire' is the best, you're somehow a not a real fan.  Except, going back to my ice cream analogy, there's no such thing as a best movie.  So, is 'Empire' really your favorite, or do you just like it because somebody else said it's the best one?  Because if it's only your favorite because a lot of people say it's the best, well, quite frankly that makes you a sheep.

Here's a list of the Star Wars series in the order of my favorites.

#1: Return of the Jedi: I love a good ending to a story.  'Jedi' isn't a perfect movie by any stretch of the imagination but that doesn't stop it from being my favorite.  In any good trilogy the final installment SHOULD be the most satisfying, because we've traveled with the heroes on their journey and have watched them grow into the characters that they're supposed to be.  Lately a lot of third installments have felt like disappointing cash grabs, like Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, but in the Original Star Wars trilogy and in Indiana Jones, this rule holds true for me.  My favorite part of 'Return of the Jedi' is the way our attention is divided between the Luke's fight with Darth Vader and the Emperor, Lando Calrissian's space battle, and Han and Leia's struggle on the Moon of Endor.  We cut back and forth between these three battles, and I'm equally invested in all of them.  It's pretty intense.  And the themes of redemption and the culmination of Darth Vader's relationship with Luke is so satisfying.  'Return of the Jedi' gets top spot from me.

#2: A New Hope: Hey, it's iconic.  The movie that stated it all.  It's hard to think Star Wars without thinking of Jawas, Obi Wan mentoring a young and naive Luke, twin sunsets, Leia's cinnamon roll hairstyle...the list goes on.  A well earned #2 spot, and if I wasn't more interested in the ending of story arcs then the beginnings, it would be an easy #1.

#3: The Force Awakens: Yeah, this is hard.  As something of an original trilogy purist, I was rather disturbed when I realized I liked this movie more than 'Empire.'  I have major problems with 'Awakens,' such as 'Starkiller Base' aka, 'we're too lazy to come up with an original plot device!' but I have more fun WATCHING this movie than I do 'Empire'.  And as this is a favorites list, not a best list, how mush fun I have watching a movie is pretty important.

#4: The Empire Strikes Back: Um, I enjoy all the parts that have Luke in them?  Here's the deal: Some of the SCENES in 'Empire' are my favorite SCENES in a Star Wars movie.  The fight with the Wampa, the battle with the AT-ATs, the stuff with Yoda...and then there are all the parts that have Han and Leia in them.  At least all the parts before Cloud City.  I really cringe at most of the romantic stuff in this picture.  And we spend so much time with Han and Leia, that Luke's scenes kind of make him feel like he's a minor character in his own story.

#5: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story: This is the best Star Wars movie we didn't need.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed this movie.  But when it was announced it felt like Disney was just making more Star Wars to make more Star Wars.  Your getting a new Star Wars movie shoved down your throat every year for the next six years whether you want one or not.  Oh, and we just canceled Tron 3.  That movie you actually wanted to see.  Because we're too busy making more Star Wars.  What I like about Rogue One is that they made it definitively a stand alone movie.  I respect Disney/Lucasfilm for not trying to create a dozen spin-off franchises with Rogue One.  That said, part of what I likes so much about 'Force Awakens' is the way it opened up new story telling possibilities.  It makes you excited for what comes next.  Rogue One is a good movie in it's own right, but it doesn't leave you wanting more.  It's biggest strength is sort of it's biggest weakness.

#6: Attack of the Clones: ...Is not a good movie.  It's a bad movie with a good movie trying to get out.  It's my favorite of the prequel movies because of it's potential.  Every now and then I remember how much I really hate the Anakin and Padme love story, and C3PO's awful string of one-liners in the climax - "This is such a drag!" and think of the parts I like - such as the assassination plots, the web of intrigue Obi Wan is slowly unraveling, that part where Padme is trapped in a crucible that's about to fill with molten metal, the dumb fun flying car chase, the dumb fun booby trapped conveyor belt, and the dumb fun arena fight.  If you're looking for a dumb fun action movie, this might just be the Star Wars for you.  If I turn off my brain and put on Nostalgia Goggles, there are parts of 'Attack of the Clones' I really enjoy.

#7: Revenge of the Sith: ...Is a better movie than Attack of the Clones.  A better Star Wars movie too.  Too many of the parts I enjoy about 'Clones' don't really belong in a Star Wars movie - they're more like a Cyberpunk B-movie version of Minority Report.  'Revenge of the Sith' is the only movie in the prequel trilogy that feels like Star Wars.  But refer back to my 'How much fun do I have watching it?' point from 'The Force Awakens' - I find 'Attack of the Clones' much more fun to watch, even though I think 'Revenge of the Sith' is a better movie.

#8: The Phantom Menace: ...Introduced Jar Jar Binks, Midi-Chlorians, and a child actor who does his best with the material he is given.  Qui-Gon-Jinn is a good character, but his introduction as Obi Wan's mentor seemingly contradicts the original canon - Yoda is the one who trained Obi Wan.  So much of this movie is either pointless, (like pod-racing) annoying, (like Jar Jar, Anakin, the Jedi Council, and Boss Nass) or contradictory to the cannon (like Midi-Chlorians and Qui-Gon).  Phantom Menace doesn't bring enough new stuff to the table to make re-watching it ever again worth my time.  It's the only Star Wars movie I can say that about.

So, That's my list.  At least until I see 'The Last Jedi.'  And I'd have to really love it or really REALLY hate it for it to replace my top or bottom slot.

-Geekboy

Why You Should Read: Magnus Robot Fighter 4000 A.D.

Hey, Happy New Year.  Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas.  Personally my Christmas was so merry I spent most of last week recovering.  You may have noticed I took a week off from posting, and I think I needed the break.  I could have easily given myself THIS week off too.  I don't know about you guys, but taking two weeks off from something you do every week can easily turn into three weeks.  You get the picture right?  If I don't post right here and now I'd probably never post again.  So this is me.  Writing a blog post.

Today I'd like to talk about what I think is THE BEST SILVER AGE SCIENCE FICTION COMIC OF ALL TIME.  Now, I'm not really a comic expert or historian.  I can only compare this to the few other silver age books on my shelf.  I'm talking about the original 'Magnus Robot Fighter 4000 A.D.' series created by Russ Manning in 1963 and published by Gold Key Comics.

Welcome to the year 4000 A.D.  The place is the continent sized city North AM.  Humanity has become soft as benevolent Robots do all the work in the future.  These robots take cues from Isaac Asimov's rules of robotics (never harm humans or allow humans to come to harm, and so on).  Unfortunately some of the robots follow the rules of robotics better than others.  Some have been corrupted and reject their programming.  Humanity has grown too weak to fight against these evil robots.  Enter Magnus, an individual who has been raised separately from the rest of society by one of the first and few remaining GOOD robots.  He has trained all his life and has gained a superhuman strength.  In addition he has a cyborg implant in his brain so he listen in to the telepathic speech of the robots.

Magnus is joined on his crusade by Leeja Clane and her father Senator Clane.  Leeja is very much a product of her time, but I feel like she's a bit less of a cardboard cutout than most comic book heroines of the silver age.

Although each issue is basically in the monster of the week format, the people of North AM are all 'Oh look, there's a new robot threat! Who will save us?' and Magnus is like, 'I will! Watch me punch robots in the face!' there is a greater sense of continuity than most comics that I've read from the same time period.  For example: In the first issue of Magnus and Leeja come across a group of people who have been captured by evil robots.  The captives are put in stasis and their brains are used to power a supercomputer.  These individuals reappear in a later issue, and because their brains were all connected for so long they developed powerful telepathic abilities.

As well as having a loose sense of continuity the world building in 'Magnus Robot Fighter' is pretty well thought out.  For example: As North Am is a continent sized city the book answers questions like 'How do these people grow food?'  Answer: They have underwater farms!

One thing 'Magnus' has going for him over other silver age comics like 'Adam Strange' for example, is that the stories take time to breathe.  The average Adam Strange story is only 10 to 15 pages long.  The Magnus comics are all 27 pages in length.  Magnus, although it's a bit cheesy when viewed through a modern lens, is also a much harder science fiction then other silver age comics I've read.  While Magnus is asking what would happen if machines one day became masters over their creators 'Adam Strange' features aliens who suck people up with Vacuum Cleaners.

I've yammered on about the story so long I haven't even touched on the artwork!  You can forget about the story, Magnus is worth reading for the art alone.  It fluctuates between highly detailed and minimalism in style.  One panel you'll have an incredible futuristic city skyline in the background and the next you'll have flat color.  I think this is done strategically.  Russ Manning is guiding your focus, either to the incredible world he's created in the detailed panels or to the characters and the action of the fight scenes in the minimal panels.  And of course, every issue features a ton of retro robots, flying cars, and wacky retro futuristic fashion design.

Dark Horse comics has collected the classic 'Magnus Robot Fighter 4000 A.D. in 3 volumes, in both Hardcover and Trade Paperback.  I recommend that you give it a try if you haven't already.  In a way, the question of 'Do we rely to much on technology?' is just as relevant - if not more so - in this digital age.  'Magnus' may be a little cheesy and a little dated, but I personally think it's a few notches above other comics from the same time period.

-Geekboy.

Star Wars vs. Flash Gordon: Cloud City

It's no secret that Star Wars was partially inspired by Flash Gordon.  George Lucas stated in interviews that he was a big fan of the serial 'Flash Gordon Conquers the Universe' as a kid.  Pretty much any Flash Gordon fan will tell you that Cloud City was a visual nod to the flying city of the Hawkmen.  But it goes a little further than the striking visual of a city in the air.  There seem to be parallels in the events that take place on Cloud City, and even parallels of character arcs for Lando Calrissian and King Vultan.

In both stories our heroes are on the run.  Flash, Dale, Dr. Zarkov and Prince Thun are trying to escape from Emperor Ming.  They've been sent as slaves to the flying city but escape when the rocketship transporting the prisoners crashes.  They are later captured by Vultan and Princess Aura, who arrived in Vultan's kingdom ahead of them.

In 'Empire Strikes Back' Han Solo and Princess Leia are of course escaping from the forces of the Empire.  They land in Cloud City for repaired unaware that Boba Fett and Darth Vader have beaten them there.

King Vultan tries to add Dale to his harem.  'Empire Strikes Back' tones this down a little bit, but Lando does some non-stop flirting with Leia in front of Han.  What's that classic Cars song?  'Best Friend's Girl?'  Yeah, that's the one.

Both Lando and Vultan are authority figures in their flying cities, but they both bow to the greater authority of the Empire.  In both cases they are willing to turn our heroes over to the villains in the best interest of their city and the people they rule over.

So our heroes are now in the clutches of the villains.  Flash Gordon is tortured by Princess Aura because he has once again chosen Dale over her and she's a woman scorned.  Han Solo is tortured by Darth Vader because...well, dramatic reasons?  He's the bad guy.  Just go with it.

So here the stories deviate a little bit.  Lando's conscience finally gets the better of him.  He's growing more and more uncomfortable with his arrangement with Darth Vader, who has 'Altered the Deal' one time too many.  He and Han Solo had been old friends after all.  So he helps Princess Leia and Chewbacca escape so they can try to rescue Han from Boba Fett.

In Flash Gordon King Vultan and Flash are not old friends.  They are in fact enemies.  So naturally this plays out differently.  Flash and Zarkov escape to try and save Dale from Vultan.  While Flash is doing what he does best - the more active part of going to rescue, Zarkov is doing what he does best - working behind the scenes.  He sabotages the flying city.  It's no longer a flying city.  It's a falling city.

So they make a deal with King Vultan.  Zarkov will fix the flying city IF and WHEN Vultan lets them go.  They don't have a lot of time for negotiating, so naturally Vultan agrees to there terms.  King Vultan is so grateful when Zarkov fixes the city - even though Zarkov broke it in the first place - that he allies himself with our little band of heroes.

So when Ming shows up to take our heroes prisoner again Vultan intervenes.  Rather allow Flash to be taken prisoner he calls for 'The Tournament of Death!'  With friends like these, am-I-right?  So Flash must now fight in an arena for his life and freedom.

The two stories do play out differently, but there are parallels even in the differences.  Lando uses his remaining influence in Cloud City as a last ditch effort to rescue Han, Chewie and Leia.  Vultan uses the traditions of Mongo to give Flash a way to earn freedom for Dale and himself.

The similarities don't end there either.  Lando and Vultan both aid the heroes in battle later on in the story as well.  Lando Calrissian joins the Rebellion and leads the battle against the second Death Star in 'Return of the Jedi'.  King Vultan and his army of Hawkmen becomes one of Flash Gordon's greatest allies in his fight against against Emperor Ming.

As I said, Flash Gordon fans tend to bring up the Hawkmen and Cloud City when they talk about Flash Gordon's influence on Star Wars.  I can definitely see why.

- Geekboy.

Can Geekboy Sum Himself Up In 3 Fictional Characters?

So, I've seen this thing going around social media sights like Facebook and Twitter where people post pictures of fictional characters as a visual aid to illustrate their own character traits.  It's a fun exercise to see what makes you tick.  People looking at your post who know you well can confirm that yes, that is what makes you tick.  People who don't know you quite as well can get to know you better.

The Geekboy blog is more or less anonymous.  You don't necessarily know me (unless you do) and I don't know you.  Or do I?  Perhaps I'm that mysterious figure skulking about in the bushes outside your house.  Okay, that took a creepy turn...

But since the casual visitor to this humble blog doesn't know much about me, I thought it could be fun to tell you a little about myself using one of my favorite things: Stories!

Firstly, we have Seamus Zelazny Harper from 'Gene Rodenberry's Andromeda'.  Harper is a total geek, and he thinks he's way cooler than he actually is.  But he's good with technology, and does his best to keep the Andromeda Ascendant running.  I'm no Harper when it comes to tech, but I also do the best that I can to keep my ship running, metaphorically speaking.

Next, we have Henry Jones Sr. from 'Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade'.  He's grumpy yet driven.  Passionate to a fault about achieving his unobtainable goals.  Obsessive and workaholic, and that gets in the way of his personal relationships.  I have a dose of these character traits.  Hopefully not to this extreme.  But I am grumpy and antisocial, particularly if you're interrupting me when I'm working on something I'm passionate about.

And lastly, Susan Ivanova from 'Babylon 5'.  Like Ivanova, I'm passive aggressive, cynical, and if I have a really good Zinger I just can't hold it inside.  Ivanova has issues with authority, and also with being IN authority.  More often then not she has a lot put on her plate and she stresses out in a major way whenever she does.

These are the characters I chose for myself, but if somebody else was choosing a character to represent me I think they would pick Garfield.  I hate mornings, love coffee, and am a bit of a couch potato.  And again, grumpy.  Geekboy is a Grumpus.  I don't know if I got that across clearly enough yet.

You may be wondering how one can be as much as a couch potato as Garfield, but as driven as Henry Jones Sr.  Somehow I manage.

As I said, I might not know you and you might not know me.  So feel free to tell me a little bit about yourself using three fictional characters in the comments.

Thoughts on: The Mecury Men

So, today I'm going to do something a little different.  I'm going to review an independent web series.  Here are some reasons why you should watch 'The Mercury Men'.

#1:  It has an awesome premise.  The Mercury Men is about an invasion in an office building.  Our protagonist is an unlikely every-man hero with a compelling story arc.  It's a claustrophobic thriller that shows us something about human nature.

#2:  It's just wacky enough.  Even though it's set in the 70s it has a real Dieselpunk flavor.  Brains in a jar, ray guns, a Pulp Adventure hero who could give Sky Captain a run for his money...if you like the kinds of stories I like, your interests have already been peaked.

#3:  Quality production values and good story telling.  I don't know what kind of a budget this show had, but the special effects are decent, and it's well shot in black and white.

#4:  It's free. 10 quality 7 to 9 minute episodes that you can watch for free online.  The first story wraps up  by the 9th episode.  Episode 10 was intended to kick off a second season which hasn't gotten off the ground as of yet.  Here's a link to the official Mercury Men Youtube channel.  Go watch it and then come back here, because we're going to spoilerville in this post.

So the story starts off with Edward Borman, a disgruntled office employee.  He is asked by a young woman whom we will come to know as Grace to stamp an important form, but he refuses because it's three minutes to closing time.  As he is leaving the office is attacked by the titular Mercury Men.  After taking out a janitor, the Mercury Men come after Borman.

Borman is rescued by Jack Yaeger, our ray-gun wielding hero.  Jack Yaeger works for an organization known as 'The League' who defend the earth from the sinister Mercury Men.  The League is lead by a mysterious 'Dr. Tomorrow' who no one has ever seen.  Yaeger and Borman discover the true mission of the Mercury Men: to construct a machine powerful enough to pull the Moon into the Earth.  Yaeger tries to recruit a terrified Borman after calling the League for reinforcements who can't possibly arrive in time.

Yaeger and Borman are separated in an attack.  Jack Yeager is captured by the Mercury Men.  A terrified Edward Borman tries to use Jack's radio to call for help.  "Can anyone heart me?  I need help!"  Borman kneels over the radio transmitter, and it almost looks like he's praying.

This little web series does seem to have a good bit of Christian symbolism, which I think is really cool.  We've seen Eastern philosophy in Star Wars, Humanism in Star Trek, a Mormon parable in classic Battlestar Galactica, but science fiction stories that feature Christian allegory are few and far between.  The only other one that comes to mind is the Tron franchise.

Borman is contacted by Dr. Tomorrow, who tells Borman that he must rescue Jack.  Borman tells Dr. Tomorrow that he can't, and that Dr. Tomorrow should send somebody else.  Dr. Tomorrow responds that there isn't anyone else, and that's why he chose Edward Borman for the task, even if he's unwilling or feels inadequate.  As a Christian, I believe that God has a plan for each of us, that we were created for a specific reason.  This story is a really good illustration of that.  Borman show a reluctance to follow the path that's been chosen for him the same way Moses or Jonah show it in the Bible.

So, Borman sets out to save Jack, even though he's shaking in his boots.  After he's successful, Jack drops a third Biblical clue.  He states that the Mercury Men feel threatened by humans because even though they are 'made from the very dirt of the Earth' they're capable of space travel.

So they come up with a plan to deactivate the Gravity Engine that the Mercury Men are using to alter the course of the moon.  Along the way, Edward Borman runs into Grace, who is a) scared out of her wits, and b) still upset that he never stamped her form.  "We have to get you out of here!"  "I'm not going anywhere with you! You're a horrible little man!"  I love that part.

So Jack and Borman have to fight off the Mercury Men and deactivate the Gravity Engine.  Jack is knocked out in the battle and Borman is once again alone.  He has to find a way to defeat the invading aliens all by himself.  It all turns out alright in the end though.  Jack gives Borman his own raygun, and states that "This is only the beginning."  Suppose that makes Borman an official member of the League.

Grace returns to Borman's desk because she 'Really really needs that form stamped."  This is a great way to close the story as it mirrors the beginning in a humorous way AND shows us just how much character growth Borman has gone through over the course of the story.  In some ways I suppose The Mercury Men is a bit like a disaster movie.  We see the best and worst sides of people when they're thrown into an extreme circumstance, and those who wouldn't ordinarily may just have to take charge.  Only this is better than most disaster pictures, because it has more ray guns.

The Mercury Men is probably just about my favorite web series, but be sure to let me know about your favorite web series or independent film project in the comments.  I'd love to hear about them.

-Geekboy.

The Mole People (1956)

When I started this blog my intention was to review lots and lots of monster movies of the 40s and 50s. how many have I actually reviewed so far?  Not enough to consider this a monster blog, that's for sure.

So I just recently gave this 1956 sci fi adventure movie a re-watch.  I'd previously seen it maybe 6 years ago.  It actually held up much better than I was expecting.  As a teenager who was just starting to watch B-movies I didn't realize that there was a difference between a GOOD monster movie and a REALLY REALLY BAD ONE.  And this may not be a great monster flick like 'Creature from the Black Lagoon' but it's certainly a few notches above 'Plan 9 from Outer Space' or 'Robot Monster'.

So the movie actually starts in a library with a scientist explaining Hollow Earth theories to the audience.  This doesn't really have anything to do with the story.  It's just that the movie is begging you to take it seriously.  Cut to an archeological expedition digging in the foothills of the Himalayan mountain range.  They're searching for a mythical lost city.  They keep name-dropping the Epic of Gilgamesh and the Biblical Flood to further establish credibility.  Unfortunately an earthquake disturbs the dig site.  It also dislodges an oil lamp from one of the mountain peaks.  The lamp is brought to the archeologists by a young shepherd boy.

The scientists study pictographs etched into the lamp.  It tells of the Gilgamesh version of the flood and a temple built high in the mountains.  Thinking this may just be the lost city they're looking for, the explorers set off to find the temple.

To further establish credibility the filmmakers show that they actually researched mountaineering.  The explorers explain that they plan to set up multiple base camps on the side of the mountain.  They show our heroes crossing portable aluminum bridges, close-up shots of their crampon clad feet, and of course, native Sherpas carrying their gear (I don't know if you can tell, but I was a bit of a mountaineering geek in my teenage years).   I don't usually expect to see this much accuracy from a B-movie.

So they reach the top of the mountain and find the lost Sumerian temple.  Unfortunately the ground crumbles under their feet and one of the members of the expedition falls into a seemingly bottomless chasm.  Dr. Bentley - the leader of the expedition - establishes himself as the hero of the story when he immediately leads the way down the chasm after his comrade.  Unfortunately a cave-in traps three members of the expedition - Dr. Bentley, Dr. Bellamin, and Dr. Lafarge - underground.  They set off exploring the tunnels and trying to find another way out.  They discover some of the tunnels are man-made.  After stopping to rest they are attacked by the titular Mole People.

The Mole People are really cool.  Nicely designed monster costumes.  They claw their way up through loose dirt, and then grab you and pull you under.  My only complaint is the way they have that hump on their backs, but they walk upright.  Shouldn't they stoop over?

So our heroes are captured by the mole men but manage to escape.  They find their way to an underground city populated by Albinos.  Dr. Bentley theorizes that this is the rest of the lost Sumerian city buried underground centuries ago in one of the mountains many earthquakes.  The Albinos aren't to keen on new arrivals.  The natives have a strict population control policy due to the limited quantity of their mushroom food source.  So they decide to sacrifice our heroes to the 'Fires of Ishtar'.  Our heroes aren't to keen on the prospect of being scarified, so they put up a fight.  They use a handy dandy flashlight to blind the Albinos and make a break for it.  Unfortunately they get separated in the tunnels and Lafarge is killed by the Mole People.

Our heroes bury their fallen comrade, and head back to the city.  They manage to convince the natives that they're 'messengers from the gods' because of their magic flashlight.  They get a lot out of this deal.  Not killed for one.  Also they get their own slave girl as an added perk.  The slave girl - named Adad - is a genetic throwback who is treated like dirt by the natives because she isn't an Albino.  She's your typical empty headed native love interest from this type of movie.
Dr. Bentley: "You shouldn't have to be a slave.  You should be free."
Adad: "What is free?"
Later in the movie:
Adad: 'What is love?"
I'm kind of surprised she never asks what breathing is.

It's revealed that the Mole People are mindless slaves of the Albinos.  They are forced to work in the mines and harvest Mushrooms.  Our heroes - being the square-jawed heroes that they are - oppose injustice of any kind, including this inhumane treatment of Mole People.  They more or less try to run the underground city using the power of the magic flashlight.

The main villain of the story is the high priest who wants this magic flashlight for himself.  He has been suspecting the divine status of our heroes for some time now, and the discovery of Dr. Lafarge's body confirms his theory.  Fun fact, the high priest is played by Alan Napier, probably best know as Alfred from the 60s Batman TV series.

He hatches a plan to feed our heroes drugged mushrooms and then sacrifice them to the Fires of Ishtar.  Previously to this point we've seen some native girls be sacrificed in part of an elaborate ceremony.  Masked priests open a massive set of doors and a blinding light streams out.  The sacrifices willingly enter the chamber and the doors are closed behind them.  Later masked Albinos carry blackened corpses from the chamber.

Adad actually does something useful at this point.  She gets help from the sympathetic Mole Men to stop Dr. Bentley and that-other-guy-she-doesn't-really-care-about from being sacrificed.

- If this is a movie you think sounds interesting, spoiler alert from this point on -

The high priest attempts to stop the Mole People revolution using the magic flashlight.  Unbeknownst to him, the batteries had previously gone dead.  Thanks to the enraged Mole People, the high priest also goes dead.  Adad tries to get the massive door open, but her puny little 50's girl arms can't do it, so the Mole People smash the door in, causing the Fires of Ishtar to stream into the room.  Adad, headless of the danger, rushes into the chamber to free Dr. Bentley and what-sis-name.

It is then revealed that the Fire of Ishtar is just sunlight.  It burns the skin of the Albinos, but is harmless to Adad and our heroes.

So they decide to climb out of the light well to the surface world.  And here comes the part that - in my opinion - prevents this from being a really good movie.  Something movies of this era liked to do is tack on a tragic ending for no reason.

When they reach the surface there's another earthquake.  Adad runs back towards the temple like the little idiot she is and is crushed by a collapsing pillar.  This feels so pointless and tacked on that it kind of ruins an otherwise good movie at the last minute.

BUT if you are into lost world type stories, adventure movies, or classic monsters, you should definitely check this one out.  True, it may take itself a little too seriously at first for as campy as the lost city actually is, but if you're already familiar with the clichés of the genre you should get a chuckle out of the power hungry high priest, the heroes pretending to be all powerful because they have access to 20th century technology, and the love story between the hero and the ditzy slave girl.

Floptacular Films: Gods of Egypt

Gods of Egypt.  A movie that received a ton of criticism before it was even released due to casting Caucasian actors as mythical Egyptian deities.  It was released in February, and I've heard that studios release new movies over the winter months for the same reason TV executives air shows on Friday nights: Secretly they want them to fail.  Because they're evil.

Most critics dismissed the film outright, stating that it was a bombastic in your face mess with bad CGI. A few semi-favorable reviews stated that it's so bad it's good.  "A little bit like 'Batman and Robin'.  Don't see it in theaters, rent it when it's released on DVD and watch it with friends when you need something to laugh at."

So.  Is Gods of Egypt a bad movie?

No.

It really isn't.

I watched this at home on DVD where I had control over the volume.  I can't say one way or the other about complaints that the movie is 'too loud' because I wasn't in a theater where you can't turn the volume up or down at will.  Honestly, I thought it was too QUIET at times.  I couldn't catch all of the dialog the first time around.  As far as complaints about the CGI, I thought this was a visually spectacular movie.  It's not the real world, it's a Steampunk-ish flat earth version of ancient Egypt.  It's a fantasy.  There were one or two places where the graphics did take me out of the story though - Set's wings being square and blocky when everybody else with wings had more organic looking bird wings, and the shiny golden armor Horus is wearing at the end that his head is sort of floating on top of.  Aside from those two things none of the effects bugged me.

Some critics didn't understand why members of the Egyptian pantheon are taller then everyone else.  Have these people never seen Hieroglyphs?  The Egyptians depicted more important - more powerful - characters as being larger than life - bigger than the insignificant mortals.  I think it's brilliant that the gods tower over everybody in the movie.

What about people who think this movie is unintentionally hilarious?  Personally, I think it's a comedy. On purpose.  Specifically, it's a buddy comedy movie.

'Gods of Egypt' is a throwback to the fantasy movies of a bygone era: Specifically the Ray Harryhausen movies such as 'The 7th voyage of Sinbad' 'Jason and the Argonauts' and 'Clash of the Titans'.  It takes many of it's plot elements from these stories - An evil usurper (Set) takes over a kingdom and casts the rightful heir (Horus) into exile.  There are fair damsels to be rescued (Zaya, and to a lesser extent Hathor) and the heroes must battle big scary monsters - like the giant fire breathing cobras - in order to complete their quest.

All in all, it feels a bit like the 2010 'Clash of the Titans' with some Indiana Jones type action in Set's booby trapped treasure chamber.  The sci fi elements remind me a bit of 'John Carter' - another flop I enjoy - or all of those Viking spaceships in 'Thor: The Dark World'.  Thor is like Vikingpunk, this is Egyptpunk!

"But Geekboy!  You make it sound like this movie is just a repeat of things I've already seen!  Does 'Gods of Egypt' bring anything new to the table?"

You betcha.

Spoiler warning.

'Gods of Egypt' retells the Osiris myth.  After Osiris is murdered by Set, Osiris' son Horus must avenge his father's death and reclaim the throne.  Unfortunately for Horus, his eyes have been stolen by Set.  Enter our hero, the plucky thief Bek.  After Bek's gal-pal Zaya is killed, Bek offers Horus a deal: He can steal back Horus' eyes and help him reclaim the throne and his beloved Hathor - whom Set has enslaved in exchange for sparing Horus' life - IF Horus will help him rescue Zaya from the underworld.  Thus begins a strained and hilarious partnership.  And this is the really really new thing 'Gods of Egypt' brings to the genre.  Bek and Horus' friendship goes through all of the same beats of a classic buddy picture in the midst of an mythical fantasy epic.

First they pretty much can't stand each other: Bek manipulates Horus into aiding him - giving him one of his eyes after he agrees to help - and Horus resents and disrespects Bek, in a 'If you have to tag along, at least make yourself useful and fetch me some water' type of way.  He also hides the truth from Bek, failing to mention that rescuing Zaya is beyond his abilities.

Of course, after they earn a little mutual respect and begin working together as a team, Bek learns the truth at the worst possible moment.  Naturally he feels used and betrayed by Horus, and hesitates just long enough to give Set a momentary victory, leading to the film's moment of greatest despair.  However, our heroes rally and band together again for one final round with Set.  Bek and Horus each perform a selfless act, Bek risking his life to give Horus his second eye, and Horus squandering an advantage he has against Set to rescue Bek.

Bek and Horus' friendship is the heart of this story, but it has plenty of other things to offer.  It handles the Damsel-in-Distress plot device in a very original way.  Zaya's journey through the underworld adds a ticking clock to the story, and feels like a nod to greek myths like 'Persephone'.  The movie sets up the possibility of coming back from the dead from the get-go, and then tells the audience over and over again that it's impossible.  In the end when characters do come back, it doesn't feel forced or unexpected because it's set up from the beginning.

The scene where Horus and Hathor are bickering in the swamp is hilarious.  Thoth is hilarious.  There are some really cool visuals like the cobra battle, flying chariots pulled by giant scarabs, Ra's Sunship,  the logic defying waterfall coming out of the sky, ect. ect.

Something this movie does very well is explain things as it goes along.  I'm not real familiar with Egyptian mythology, and I don't think I'm alone in that.  Western society on the whole is more familiar with the Greek myths because they've been adapted time and time again, and because we've read them in school as classic literature.  So I wasn't familiar with Hathor's connection with the underworld, but it doesn't matter if I was confused at first because they explain that later.  The random monster that Ra fights so it doesn't eat the world?  They explain that later.  And what feels like a throwaway scene reverencing an obscure myth is important in the climax when Ra isn't around to STOP the world eating monster.

I went into this movie planning to enjoy it.  It's what I do.  I like to like things, so I try to like things.  That said, I wasn't expecting to like it as MUCH AS I DID.  I would recommend it to a friend, and if you haven't seen it, I also recommend it to you.

Because sometimes the critics are wrong.

Sky Captain and the World Of Tomorrow (Fan Art)

Fan art for the 2004 retro sci fi film 'Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow' as requested by Chicory. As always, if you have a fan art request, just leave it in the comments.

If I were casting Flash Gordon...

You know what I think would be really cool?  A modern Flash Gordon trilogy that stuck close to the source material, but treated it more like a fantasy epic then a cheesy old science fiction.  Kind of like the Lord of the Rings trilogy, but with more rocketships.  Why not have Peter Jackson direct it?  While I'm daydreaming, here's a list of actors I'd like to see play some of the main roles.  Let's start with the main antagonists.

Ming the Merciless:

Flash, Dale, and Emperor Ming

Speaking of 'Lord of the Rings' I see Hugo Weaving as perfect for this role.  He always has a sort of sophisticated menace about him, even on the rare occasion that he's playing a good guy.  Shave his head and slap a Fu Manchu mustache on that guy and you have the perfect Ming.

Hugo Weaving

Princess Aura:

Princess Aura and Flash

After 'Tron: Legacy' and 'Cowboys and Aliens' I thought Olivia Wilde was going to be a real breakout star in genre movies.  She hasn't really done anything that caught my attention since then, but I would love to see her play a villain.  Something about those wide eyed stares she's always giving the camera is simultaneously A). Really hot - and - B). Just a little bit creepy.

Olivia Wilde

Let's move on the the supporting cast shall we?

Prince Barin:

Prince Barin and the Forest Men of Mongo

One of the few things I liked about the either so-bad-it's-good or so-bad-it's-actually-really-bad 1980's Flash Gordon was former James Bond actor Timothy Dalton as Prince Barin.  There's something about that suave British-ness combined with forest swashbuckler that works so well for the character.  So who's an ex Bond actor to take up the mantel?  Answer, there really isn't one.  Pierce Brosnan would have worked, but he's a little old for Barin now.  And the tough guy thug thing Daniel Craig has going as Bond just wouldn't wok at all.  I now direct your attention to 2011's 'X-men: First Class'.  This movie brought the X-men back to the time-period the X-men were created in: Cold War era 1960s.  They were doing there absolute best to be a James Bond movie with mutants.  Michael Fassbender's take on a younger Magneto was to play him as if he were Bond.  I see him as a good fit for Baron.

Michael Fassbender

Another option would be to simply bring back Steve Bacic who was pretty fantastic as Barin in the 2007 Flash Gordon TV series.

Steve Bacic

Prince Thun:

Prince Thun and Flash Gordon

This one took a little thinking, but I think Michael Dorn of Star Trek fame would be a good match for an older and wiser take on the Prince of the Lion Men.

Michael Dorn

King Vultan:

Princess Aura and King Vultan

So I keep going back to actors from the 'Lord of the Rings' trilogy, but I could see John Rhys-Davies -Gimli - as the King of the Hawkmen.  

John Rhys-Davies

 If he proved unavailable, another Dwarf from Middle Earth comes to mind: Richard Armitage - Thorin Oakinshield - would work as well if not better.

Richard Armitage

Queen Fria:

Flash and Queen Fria

Okay, last time using a Lotr actor, I promise.  But Cate Blanchett's Lady Galadriel would be a perfect match for the icy Queen of the land of Frigia.

Cate Blanchett

So this brings us to our main cast.  And this is the hard part.

Doctor Hans Zarkov:

Dr. Zarkov

One actor comes to mind.  And yes, he was in a Peter Jackson Movie.  No. NO!  Put that cauldren of hot tar and those bags of feathers DOWN!  Down.  Good reader.  I'm talking about German actor Thomas Kretshmann, who played Captain Engelhorn in the 2005 'King Kong'.  Engelhorn was, in my opinion, one of the coolest characters in the movie.  And Zarkov is arguably the coolest in the main trio of Flash Gordon heroes.  Thomas Kretshmann also had a blink-and-you-miss-it role as Baron Strucker in Marvel's 'Avengers: Age of Ultron'.  Zarkov has a rather menacing introduction as a european Mad Scientist, and 'Age of Ultron' proves Kretshmann has that menace.

Thomas Kretshmann

So.  Now we just have...  

Flash Gordon and Dale Arden.

Flash and Dale

I've run out of ideas.  I always do when I get to this point.  In the original comic strip Flash Gordon and Dale Arden are more or less blank slate characters.  And it works.  They are our veiwpoint characters, every-man type people we can identify with and project ourselves overtop of.  They are a delivery mechanism for the fantastic world, the quirky side characters, and the adventures that happen in the story.  But that's something that's hard to adapt for a movie.  So I find myself returning again to the 2007 Flash Gordon TV show.

I'm sure Eric Johnson would be willing to return to the role of Flash.  He did it for this animated short after all.  And if we're bringing back 2007's Flash why not bring back Gina Holden as Dale too?

Eric Johnson

Gina Holden

Well, you've heard me ramble long enough.  What do you geek out about so much you daydream about future movie adaptations of?  If you have a guilty pleasure you'd like to see remade as a big budget movie, let me know about it in the comments.